Let me just say that when it comes to yard sales or library sales or hobos handing out free books in exchange for hugs...I'm pretty open-minded. I'm never really scared to take a chance on a new author or a genre I don't often dabble in, but I'm slowly learning that I need to be a bit more critical in the before stage rather than the after stage. Why? Cause I keep picking up utter crap.
Standoff is the story of some Mary Sue named Tiel McCoy who finds herself between a rock and a hard place (SIDE NOTE: Almost wrote roc and a hard place. Thanks, Piers Anthony. Thanks a whole lot). That is the story of her career and her possible death in trying to get it. See, she's a journalist ready for vacation when she all of a sudden hears about a kidnapping on the radio while driving through Texas. Some pregnant daughter of Fort Worth's richest dickhead is stolen away by her boyfriend. Lo and behold, the first gas station McCoy stops at for a snacky-snack gets held up...by the very same kidnapper and pregnant girl she intended on covering. Ding ding ding. I'll take irony for one million dollars please.
Anyways. Hostage situation to the max. Convenience plus lazy writing equals a whole lot of forced, uninspired drama. Anyways, stuff happens. Girl gives birth on floor, SWAT team surrounds the place, Mexicans are potrayed as a stereotype, undercover agents are dumb, and McCoy finds love with a man nicknamed Doc in an aisle lined with bags of Fritos. It is ridiculous, and the predictable twists do nothing to alleviate the cheesy dialogue or condescending writing. An explicit sex scene at the end had me groaning, but not in a good way, and that's a shame, people.
So if you see this book in a box marked 25 cents in your local library...don't be like me. Let it sleep there for all the years.
Mental Floss has a great list of 12 Things You Might Not Know About A Christmas Story. Go click. It's totally worth a read, and I was pleasantly surprised to have known none of the twelve things. Now I'm full of trivia. Red Ryder BB Gun said 28 times during the movie? Nice. I plan to use that tidbit...immediately.
Also, I missed watching it the past...two Christmases, but not this year. I will see the Bumpus hounds in all their glory, I swear it!
Actually, as of today’s real day of posting (12/15/08), I have a total of $32.00 saved now. Yes, trying to save money during the holiday season is just as easy as floating a hippopotamus down a river in a badly inflated tube. But what do you keep your loose change in? A real piggy bank?
Oh, and look. Today, y’all get a bonus MyLifeComic:
The funny thing is I don’t even like football. But by the power of the Lords of Kobol, my children will have beards.
Calm me with your lies, your simple tragedy
It’s all I wish to hear tonight
and you’re all I wish to be
And this is how we all fall
- “Glass to the Arson” by Anberlin